It gets harder every time

As many of you know, Josh is preparing for deployment. He has been training for this deployment since the first of the year. He has been gone more than he has been home this year. This has been hard on me, but I believe that it has been hardest on our children. Jared realizes what is going on for the most part, Wade basically lives from day to day and doesn't seem as phased; however, Savannah is struggling the most when daddy is absent. She is definitely Daddy's little girl. She adores her daddy, and she would much rather do things with him than with me (a bit sad for me)! Every time that Josh leaves it seems like Savannah has a harder time coping with him being gone.

Josh was able to have his two week block leave the first two weeks in May. The days went by quickly, and we had so much fun being together as a family. We left Sunday night after church to go back to Fremont, NE. Josh had to report back on Monday morning. The kids enjoyed the hotel because of the "wonderful swimming pool". We had to swim every day!!! On Wednesday, the had the farewell ceremony for the unit. Josh had a part in the ceremony, and we were so proud. The day went by quickly, and Josh learned that his plane was the first to leave on Thursday morning. His bus was leaving at 2:30 in the morning from the hotel. I got up with him as he got ready to leave, and I waved good-bye to him without a tear....I thought, "Yep, I am doing pretty good with all this!" The kids got up later, and we went and had our breakfast and got packed up to go home. Not soon after we left for our trip home, Wade and Savannah were sleeping and Jared was looking at some books. I looked back at them in the mirror, and it hit me....Daddy is not going to be coming home any more for a long time! As I looked at their sweet faces, I began to weep. We have been saying goodbye to daddy so many times this year that I had grown accustomed to it. I wondered..."do the kids realize that daddy won't be coming home for a while?" "When Savannah has her moments when all she wants to do is talk to daddy how will she respond when she can't call him?"Am I going to be able to care for all three of them like I should?" Yes, I was becoming overwhelmed with all these thought...and just at this moment a song came on.....I Need Thee Every Hour....this song was so comforting to me because I realized that I wasn't alone...I am going to get through this next year because I have the greatest Helper.

Josh will be in Texas for this next month, and we will be able to see him one more time....I ask prayer mostly for my children....and for understanding for their little minds to know what is happening!

Sorry this is so very long....I am very emotional as I write this. I probably should have waited to write this when I wasn't crying!!! LOL